How To Spot Burnout In Others And What To Do About It: Crucial Conversations w/ Dr. Gary Simonds
Burnout doesn't announce itself with a dramatic crash. It creeps in slowly, like a bank account gradually going into overdraft. Dr. Gary Simonds, a neurosurgeon who has seen burnout from every angle, breaks down the warning signs we often miss and how to approach someone who might be struggling.
Key Takeaways
Energy depletion changes behavior - When your mental "bank account" is overdrawn, basic social skills like kindness and patience disappear first
We create stories about others' behavior - Especially when we're burned out ourselves, we assume the worst intentions behind people's actions
The approach matters more than the message - How you start the conversation determines whether someone opens up or shuts down completely
Notable Quotes
"We all in our interactions with other human beings, we're always using a certain amount of energy to make sure we're gentle and kind and respectful and polite."
"Nobody's a mind reader but I would argue that we all believe we are... we make up this story and it's usually not very nice."
"Imagine that there's a film crew filming you during the day... what do you actually look like? Are you that person who's inspiring others?"
Real-World Applications
Watch for behavioral shifts in high performers
Example: Your usually collaborative teammate starts making sarcastic comments in meetings while still hitting all their deadlines. The work quality hasn't dropped, but their social energy has.
Check yourself before checking others
Example: Before approaching a colleague about their attitude, ask yourself if you're projecting your own stress. Maybe you're the one who's been short lately.
Start conversations with observations, not accusations
Example: Instead of "You've been really negative lately," try "I noticed you seemed frustrated in our last few meetings. Is there something I can help with?"
Spotting burnout requires looking beyond work performance to see the whole person. The goal isn't to diagnose or fix anyone, but to create space for honest conversation. Sometimes just knowing someone notices can make all the difference.
00:49 Guest Introduction: Dr. Gary Simonds
01:43 Exploring the Book 'Death's Pale Flag'
02:12 Identifying and Addressing Burnout in Others
11:51 The Role of Trust in Addressing Burnout
13:25 The Impact of Burnout on Communication
17:12 The Toll of Difficult Conversations on Doctors
26:19 The Impact of Stress on Interpersonal Interactions
33:33 Recognizing Signs of Burnout
40:22 The Gender Differential in Burnout Responses
41:21 Recap and Final Thoughts on Burnout
Check out Dr. Gary’s book:
Death’s Pale Flag: https://amzn.to/3TXdDSI
Dr. Gary Simonds on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gary-simonds-5b0225a/
About The Author
Emily Sander is an ICF-certified leadership coach with more than 15 years of experience in the business world and the author of Hacking Executive Leadership. She’s been featured in several print publications, online articles, and podcasts, including CEO Today Magazine, Leading to Fulfillment, and Leadership Powered by Common Sense.
Emily has a passion for helping business leaders reach their full potential. Go here to read her story from seasoned executive to knowledgeable coach. If you want to send Emily a quick message, then visit her contact page here.